Multi-faceted Sunday...

It was a busy week at Lake Rhonda...

Little bits of a lot of things...

Found a pattern for my Hawaiian shirt. Got matching thread, now to get sewing!

A few weeks ago I had my old (like from when I was in High School old) guitar restrung with the intention of playing it again. I even went out and got a guitar stand so I could have it out and handy for practicing! Last week I finally went to the ACC Monday night guitar group and had so much fun! So now I have two instruments to practice!

A couple of weeks ago I also started a Japanese calligraphy class at the Belle Cooledge Community Center not too far from my house. I got there a little early and one of the older women who was setting up came up to me and asked "Are you here for calligraphy?"
"Yes" I replied and she gave me a funny look.
"It's Japanese calligraphy you know" she said.
And to either put her at ease or throw her for a loop I answered. "Daijobu desu". (that's ok)
She started for a second then replied back to me in Japanese and we chatted for a couple of minutes in Japanese. Then she put her arm around me, laughed and said "You'll do fine in here then!". When she introduced me to the teacher a few moments later she told the above story and we all had a good laugh.
Then I was immersed into 2 hours of Japanese and learning beginning steps of calligraphy all at once. My head felt like it would burst but I was so happy? I hadn't spoken that much Japanese since my trip last year!

Last week I decided to try the pen version instead of the large brush and because it is better for kanji (character) practice, I will do that style first for a while.

And I decided to relearn Japanese kanji on my own again. I gave myself a little pretest to see how many of the 1st grade kanji I could remember (I used to know all the 1st and 2nd grade ones, oh 35 or so years ago!). The red is what I didn't remember! But as soon as I wrote them again, some I remembered easily, others I had totally forgotten. Will be an interesting study this time around!

Like I said it was a busy week here! Oh and I started an exercise class also at ACC before my Japanese class on Mondays. Had to have Andy go out into the garage to find my old light weights to bring to class next time. I am so weak! I watched the 80 year old ladies do the exercises sets with no problem and I was huffing and puffing! Yeesh!

Thinking about 2017...

Like so many people I chose a word for the year. This word is my focus for things I want to do or change in the year. This is my fifth year doing this and it is still a work in progress for me.

My first word in 2013 was RELEASE, written about HERE. 

The next year I chose BREATHE, noted HERE.

My 2015 word was OPEN, which I wrote about HERE.

Last year I chose BE, explained HERE.

It has been interesting to me how one word has led to the next. And it is no different for my new word. I have been thinking long and hard about what sort of word I want to "guide" me for the coming year. Several factors came to mind when deciding what kind of word to choose:  

1. I have now been retired since June 1, 2014. That is 2 and a half years already! I'd be hard pressed to be able to tell you where all that time went! What am I doing with my time? What more can I do? What can I do to be of help to someone?
2. The last 4 words have been about me, looking inward, helping myself. There is nothing wrong with that. A lot of people use these yearly words to help themselves. But it has been in my mind that this time I want to look outward, that my own personal growth and well being also comes from helping other people. 
3. I wanted to find a word that would help me get out in the community and be more active in a more social way. As I get older I am more and more aware of the problems some old people have with dealing with the world so maybe I can find something to do/volunteer at that would be of help.

So, I am still looking for the right word. I am making a big list and will continue to mull over them until one just waves and tells me it is my right word.  Here are some of the words I am thinking about. 

Words so far:  outward, contribute, help, support, change, give, service, expand, unite, connect, share, offer, return, expand, generosity, kindness, compassion, unselfishness, benevolence, altruism, community.

Please feel free to add any others if you happen to think of one!

Hot late July days...

It has been in the 100s during the days this week in Sacramento. I think yesterday got up to 108 or 109 degrees Fahrenheit! Way too hot for me.

And the heat is affecting the garden. Even though I water as much as I can, the plants do not like these temperature extremes either!

My Mexican Sunflower (Tithonia rotundiflolia) finally flowered! But even this plant isn't liking the heat much!

My squash plants are staring to die back, although there are still zucchini here and there.

My flowers are also dying or setting seed. HERE is a link to the milkweed I planted. The other day I noticed the seed pods are starting to pop and the seed is pouring out. I need to capture the seeds and plant them next Spring!

I did get a few ambrosia melons this year. Only one has been ripe enough to eat so far. I am hoping the other 2 will last long enough to ripen on the vine.

And the scraggly grape plants are holding on and still producing some grapes. This is near the last of the bunches. Very small but very sweet!

I have been ordering seeds for my Fall and winter garden of salad and other greens. Once the heat goes down in a few weeks I plan on pulling up the dead vines and other plants, planting lots of lettuce and some Tuscan kale. I may even sneak in some Swiss Chard plants. Andy doesn't like it so much but I love chard so I can just make it for myself!

Lots of garden tasks in the coming months. With yoga teacher training starting this weekend and the garden and more sewing I want to do, I think the next few months will be pretty busy for me. Busy and fun -- just what retirement should be!

A quiet anniversary passed...

The other day marked the anniversary of my retirement. One whole year already! Where did the time go?

And now time to start thinking about my second year of retirement... a few new things happening, some same old stuff happening and the wish -- or dream -- of some other things happening finally. Lemme 'splain...

I'll start with the old stuff cause it is easier to list (and yet apparently harder to do):
1. My house is still a mess. I thought by now it would be decluttered and more organized and cleaned up. Still working on that one.
2. My garden is growing great, although now with the more severe watering restrictions it is going to be harder to keep things growing. But we have been eating from it already so that is a good thing!
Some of the things we are eating lately...

Beans:

Beet greens:

Radishes:

And several zucchini and yellow squashes. The tomatoes are starting to get bigger and the little ones are starting to turn red. One of these days I need to go out and take some updated photos of everything that is surviving the awful heat that has come upon us in a rush.

For the new, I guess the biggest is the decision to take yoga to the next level. I signed up for teacher training at It's All Yoga. Not primarily to teach but to expand yoga for myself and see where this journey leads me. I have heard it changes you... I look forward to seeing how. I will write more of this decision later and through the process which starts on August 1.

For the wish/dream of other things happening... I am still trying to figure out what I am meant to be doing in my retirement. I read a lot of blogs and most people said it might take a year or two (or more) to figure it all out and that is fine with me.  I am finding my days pretty full as it is doing stuff out in the garden, catching up on a ton of blogs and other online stuff I had been neglecting, visiting with friends (retired teacher friends and others -- love to go out to lunch!), reading, and actually for a while doing nothing. I know the doing nothing part will wear off but it is fun for a while. I do a little volunteer work at the Food Bank and will be doing some with Women's Wisdom Art, and I had been talking to my local librarian about working with a "reading to seniors" program similar to one I used to do in San Francisco probably 35 years ago and there isn't one here. She said I should start one. I don't think I want that much responsibility.

Some things I am still thinking about doing:

• I think I still want to learn to play a musical instrument like the ukulele or fiddle. Or maybe just relearn how to play my guitar.
• I want to start folk dancing again. I just have to get off my butt and go. I tend towards the lazy especially at night.
• I want to get back to doing some art and quilting. I still have a mountain of fabrics to work my way through!
• I want to learn more about preserving and fermenting foods. I have gotten some books and will take a workshop here and there. Mostly I want all my fruits and veggies to be so plentiful I can start! Maybe I will practice on store-bought for now to get the processes down.
• And generally I want to be more self-reliant on my own resources for food and living. That includes growing, preserving, making foods that I don't make these days but know how to and love (like my own pasta and breads). That means sewing my own clothing and finally settling into my own more free-form style now that I don't have to dress for anyone else's benefit. And writing more, about all this and anything that crosses my mind.

I may have some busy days ahead!

Stop and smell the flowers

I have been crazy busy the last few weeks and the other day it hit me: why am I doing this? I have a gazillion art projects and sewing projects and things to keep me occupied and there I was, sitting at my desk, not wanting to do ANYTHING. My body and brain were fighting back: I am retired -- I don't need to be doing something every moment of the day. I was so tired from running to this class and that class and doing part of one online course then rushing over to another one...

So I stopped for a day and let my thoughts rush in and boy was I in for a surprise! It turns out I really do not know what I want to be doing with this part of my life! I had so many options that I was overwhelmed.

Time to step back a bit, think about my word for the year:
OPEN. Yes I was open to everything -- was that a problem? Or could I learn to be open to ideas and let them flow through me? Did I have to DO everything I thought of, or could I just notice and let it go?  It was obvious to me I needed to work on this idea.

And my CDFs (core desired feelings from the Danielle LaPorte Desire Map book): had been taking a back seat to all my running around lately. Time to reflect on these:
Unencumbered: started on a major house cleaning then sort of stopped when I got so busy arting and sewing. Need to return to this one.
Aligned: well I have not done as much yoga as I thought I might be doing, what is stopping me?
Vibrant: well the art stuff is happening -- lots of color, but there is still something missing -- I am not as happy about creating my art as I thought I would be. I keep asking myself this question:  What is my art asking of me?
Connected: I am getting out and seeing friends, but there is more I need/want to work on for this one.
Mindful: at first I was thinking of this for eating and it has sort of been happening, but I want it happening in more areas of my life too.

I think I will be doing more sitting back and reflecting today...

Waiting for the rain to pass...

The house painting is happening slowly, broken up by weekends and a rainy day here and there. But it is coming along nicely... blue with white trim.  In progress...

I haven't been doing much artsy stuff this week aside from watching a lot of art videos and reading blogs. Lots to catch up on and I have pretty much let myself have the week to just veg on other people's creativity.  I did sign up for Tracy Verdugo's Paint Mojo ecourse and have slowly been working on that. I love her intuitive style and thought I would splurge on the class. I am also thinking of taking Flora Bowley's online course as well to get a different look at intuitive painting. Both of them sort of early Christmas presents to myself.

And I signed up for the NaNoWriMo again this year to write 50,000 words in one month. A novel, or as they call it more likely a really awful first draft. But for me it is a month long writing project that sets me down to put words to paper on a daily basis. I did it in 2010 as well and it was pure drivel but it did get me thinking and writing which is what I wanted to do.

Many projects... open ended time... not in a hurry...

It is good to have an end to journey toward, but it is the journey that matters in the end.

--Ursula K. LeGuin

Pushing myself out on a limb...

The thing about being retired...  I cannot believe time passes by so fast!  Whomever said being retired gives you too much free time was obviously not retired! Of course it has only been a few months still and I have had a zillion and one items on the longest to-do list in the world, so as I get through a lot of those things that needed to be done, I will indeed have more free time.

One of my intentions is to pursue a lot more artsy stuff and today I stepped a little out on a limb, or rather PUSHED myself out on a limb and bought some larger canvases!

Michael ' s had a buy 3 for the price of 1 sale today and I bought 6 large gallery wrapped canvases, from 20x24 to 24x36 inches. I have never painted larger than 16x20 inches before... here is my opportunity! 

I will be driving up to Oregon tomorrow for a few days to visit with my friend Evie who will be down from Alaska, then when I get back next week, who knows, maybe I will open up one of these canvases and get started! 

Intentions vs Reality...

I love the idea of setting intentions to do something. We do that in yoga class a lot. It would happen more if I actually went as much as I intended to go, but that goes in the reality part later. I had a lot of intentions for once I retired...

and the reality of it so far is that a lot of them are happening at a very slow rate. I know, everyone tells me I have all the time in the world... but I don't really. I have this one moment. One moment then another moment.  I have today. Then tomorrow I will have another today. THAT is where I am falling down... I have a lot of things planned for future days but am not doing them each today.

If that doesn't make sense, don't worry... it is just lately forming in my own mind as well. This whole retirement thing is a little different that I had imagined too. That is ok, it is just not what I expected. Which is also ok... one of my intentions was to let go of some of my tight expectations..

Today I am doing a lot of food shopping. This is one of the lovely benches outside of Nugget Market, a sort of cross between Whole Foods and a regular supermarket. I want to go get some coffee and sit on this bench but it is too hot, so I will sit inside and contemplate more on intentions...

Sharing the bench with Weekly Top Shot.

Moving on...

On the plane, coming home from a visit to my sister in Oregon, I happened to look up and kitty-corner to me was a man typing up a welcome back to school Powerpoint presentation. It hit me then that I don't have to do those anymore and I smiled.

Today is the first day of school for my teacher friends here. I think it is finally sinking in:  I have retired! I no longer have that stress hanging over me and I can finally relax into the next chapter of my life. Up until now it has still felt like "summer vacation" so it wasn't as definite. But now, the vacation time is over and I don't have to go back to school. I am smiling.

So I went out into my garden to see what I could find and aside from the dying flowers and old veggies from the summer there was a bit of life...

A couple of our new lavender plants are in full bloom and smell great! The others are still with buds but no open flowers, a little slower to get started. I want to fill the garden with scent now that I have time to work in it! Time to research good fall plantings and what I can do now for great spring flowers.

This year I will remember to plant the sweet peas in the late Fall so we actually have them in the Spring...

It's already on my calendar!

Hanging out...

For my birthday last weekend Andy took me to the Big Springs Gardens for a lovely hike and delicious lunch.

I find it very difficult to believe I am 62. The sixties always seemed SO OLD to me... Now that I am there, they don't feel anything like I imagined. Not that I can really put into words what I thought I would feel like.

And I think when I was working I FELT older than I do now. Nothing like retiring to bring on some energy!

Querencia and other thoughts about writing...

I have been thinking about writing lately...

From Writing Towards Home by Georgia Heard:
 Querencia: a place where one feels safe; a place from which one’s strength of character is drawn; a place where one feels at home. From the Spanish querer to want, to desire.

          {Where is my querencia?}

This makes me ask other questions:

Where do I feel most at home?
Where do I feel most happy and relaxed?
What is my ideal writing environment?
Where can I write with all my full powers?

I like quiet places.

Places without a lot of distractions.

That is why often writing in public places like coffee houses is difficult for me, unless I can find an out of the way table or a booth.

The quietest place for me is really a time – very early morning before the world seems awake. This has  worked well in the past then I got distracted with work and stopped writing for long time. Now I am retired so I can reclaim my mornings.

Another thought, taken from an art workshop years ago, maybe Julianna Coles? She asked, "Where does your art hide for you?"  So I am taking a side step for today...

          {Where does writing hide for me?}

Where in nature? Where in art? Music? Colors? Tastes? Textures? What memories hold hidden writings? People? Places? Things? I know there are many tidbits of life that are keeping secret writings – it is my job {task?} now to find them and draw them out. Another question might be, WHY does writing hide for/from me?

Another theme: Find my own truth. Seems to be a recurring theme. What is my own truth? Who am I now? What is the path with the heart (Castenada)? What is my bliss? The same question in different forms.

These are some of the things I might be thinking about as I travel this coming month...


“Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sunday morning thoughts...

My mother died on Thursday. I am not saying that to elicit any comments of how sorry people might be for my loss. Please don't. She and I had a very adversarial relationship especially these past 20 or so years.

I am just thinking about it today and how some losses affect me differently than others.

Those of you who know me know I was not close to my real mother and that she was often vicious and verbally mean/rude to me and most people in any adult encounters, but still it is a strange emptiness. I am eternally thankful I did not grow up with her past my 10th year so that I at least turned out pretty "normal" and have had a pretty happy life. She was always bitter and unhappy.  It took me a long time to figure out all her unhappiness was her problem and to learn how to not get dragged down into her well of acrimonious despair.

The more I ponder it, I am coming to the realization that I had always hoped things would improve and that we might have a decent relationship in her old age. I think I am mourning the loss of that possibility rather than the actual person.


On another note I am enjoying my new retirement, although it still feels like summer vacation to me. I am sure the reality of it will hit when I don't have to go back to school in late August. In a way that is another loss, albeit not a bad one, just a transition that I will need to go through.  For a change I will have the time to do all those other things that interest me: making art, traveling, writing, doing more yoga, getting outside more and certainly lunching with my other retired teacher (and librarian) friends!

The roses have a drip system in place but the lawn is suffering. I need to get out there and water on our select days (Tuesdays and Saturdays) for our address.

Hiking on Monday...

One of my intentions for my retirement is to get into better physical shape and what better way to start than a visit with another retired teacher friend Marilyne and a nice hike in the Auburn area.

Location: Hidden Falls
Google Map

She had a couple of choices for me and I chose the waterfall one, which it turned out was a LOT of uphill in the sun so I will know better next time! But it was beautiful and I want to go there again maybe on a slightly cooler day (and start earlier in the morning) and once my legs have a little more strength for all that uphill!

At least it was a wake-up call for me to let me know what sort of physical shape I was (not) in. It wasn't a long hike (3 or so miles) and it wasn't until the end with all the uphill in the sun that my weaknesses showed up. Hello jello legs! Hello no stamina! At least I brought a hat and sun screen!

It's Official!

Last day of school was today! It is officially summer vacation and more official for me, my last day at work. Officially starting tomorrow, I now join the ranks of the happily retired!

Crank up your speakers!


Now for the next chapter in my life... a couple of weeks here then off to Nova Scotia for a month. I will definitely blog from that trip and post photos here. After that, the world is my oyster. Hmmm, maybe I need to start liking oysters!

It's a lovely Thursday in the neighborhood...

 Today I am...

• Appreciating that I had an extra personal leave day I could take off to get a boatload of errands taken care of, including getting a new vacuum cleaner!
• Excited to see the progress of our little straw bale vegetable garden and thankful that my husband put in the hard work to get it started.
• Realizing that I need to clean out the fridge so I can plan my meals better.
• Giddy at the prospect of being retired by the end of next week.
• Getting excited about my upcoming trip to Nova Scotia.
• Thinking how much I love the bedroom being so free of clutter and getting excited about decluttering the rest of the house.
• Thinking about what I want this blog to become as my time is freed up in retirement.
• Excited to go to Leslie's this weekend and do more art!

I saw this "Today I am... " idea on THIS blog and liked it so decided to make my own list! I look forward to having time when I retire to catch up on all the blogs I have added to Feedly and bookmarked... lots of interesting stuff happening out in the blogosphere that I have not been reading.

The heat is on!

It is going to be 100 degrees today... yikes! And it is only the middle of May!

On the up side... only 11 more working days until retirement! Yay!

And in the garden...

Today is where your book begins...

Sometimes just the right song comes along at just the right moment , and even if it is an old song, it may be one you have never heard or never thought about before. Then suddenly... BAM! It is there in your ear, in your brain, and it is saying exactly what you need to hear at exactly that moment.

Such was what happened to me the other day when I heard the Natasha Bedingfield song  "Unwritten". Even though it had been out for many many years and came out before her other song I always liked, "Pocketful of Sunshine", I do not think I had ever heard it before last week.

It spoke to me about my coming retirement and all the thinking I have been doing about it lately:

"Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten"

I especially like the lines:

"Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten..."

Full lyrics here. 

Here is the video from You Tube: