I have been crazy busy the last few weeks and the other day it hit me: why am I doing this? I have a gazillion art projects and sewing projects and things to keep me occupied and there I was, sitting at my desk, not wanting to do ANYTHING. My body and brain were fighting back: I am retired -- I don't need to be doing something every moment of the day. I was so tired from running to this class and that class and doing part of one online course then rushing over to another one...
So I stopped for a day and let my thoughts rush in and boy was I in for a surprise! It turns out I really do not know what I want to be doing with this part of my life! I had so many options that I was overwhelmed.
Time to step back a bit, think about my word for the year:
OPEN. Yes I was open to everything -- was that a problem? Or could I learn to be open to ideas and let them flow through me? Did I have to DO everything I thought of, or could I just notice and let it go? It was obvious to me I needed to work on this idea.
And my CDFs (core desired feelings from the Danielle LaPorte Desire Map book): had been taking a back seat to all my running around lately. Time to reflect on these:
Unencumbered: started on a major house cleaning then sort of stopped when I got so busy arting and sewing. Need to return to this one.
Aligned: well I have not done as much yoga as I thought I might be doing, what is stopping me?
Vibrant: well the art stuff is happening -- lots of color, but there is still something missing -- I am not as happy about creating my art as I thought I would be. I keep asking myself this question: What is my art asking of me?
Connected: I am getting out and seeing friends, but there is more I need/want to work on for this one.
Mindful: at first I was thinking of this for eating and it has sort of been happening, but I want it happening in more areas of my life too.
I think I will be doing more sitting back and reflecting today...
